There was darkness, and it sustained me. I knew of light, but that was another lifetime ago. There is beautiful solidarity with darkness. It is comforting. It never relinquishes control. Let's call it the eternal womb. And I was loved here. At least I was safe.
But the light invaded what was my protection. Like a perverse lover, it intruded my body. There was electricity, the white-blue fire that cascaded all around me, through me, in me. At first it was terrifying. I didn't want to leave. I was being evicted from my home with rude force and bitter action. I resisted. I tried. I pleaded for the darkness to stay, to protect me! But she was mute. The hot lightening wouldn't cease. It continued to liberate me from my lovely home.
My lungs heaved and gasped. Air, so strange and odd filling me with breath. Muscles, my muscles, sinews, fibers, tendons revolted against this lightening. What was happening? And why? But this body...of mine, was becoming...alive.
And the darkness was no more. Light, brazen, crass, megalomaniac light surround me and pounded me like many small cruel hammers.
There was a shout of joy. Or rather, of exclamation.
"Live my love, live!" the male voice said. Shouted really. Screamed. He was ecstatic.
I expelled water from my lungs and started to shake.
Then I screamed. "Rah!" "Rah!" "RAHHHHH!!!!"
That frightened him. I knew that right off. I couldn't even see yet and he was startled and afraid of what he had done.
But once the bandages were off, he became mine. But I am always his.
He didn't know what to do. Poor fool. Play with nature and the laws of the universe, throw in some scientific mischief and a personal vendetta and this is what you get. Me.
I am alive. Quite conscious. Aware. A living, breathing, thinking organism. But more than that, I am a woman. I am me.
He seemed elated. I know what he did was wrong and against the Creator's wishes, but it is his charm, and our little secret.
He hides me sometimes. He says that I'm not ready. He loves me I think. I'm not sure if I love him back. I'm not sure of a lot of things. But I do know this. I don't know how I know, but it's like these thoughts that aren't really mine whisper to me, in my voice, but it's from another mouth. Familiar because we share the same words. I call her Susan, but she likes Suzie.
I'm still figuring this thing out. And I have lots of questions which I don't think he will answer. But no matter. I will find out or discover eventually.
I'm not going anywhere.
words scribbled on the Akashic records
signed, the Bride
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